HILD BEDE 8 - 1 TREVS C

Hild Bede : Pisshead, Cooper, Taylor (sub 45 - Average), Molenaar, Fortunato, Goblin, Hartly, Di Canio(sub 55 - Enigma), Briaris, Macca (sub 45 - Toms), Creek

It's Sunday afternoon, 1.30, "Soccer 5" and the ref hasn't turned up. It can only be the start of another fourth team campaign. Trevs C are professionally warming up, and look like they are taking things far too seriously as Hild Bede knock a few balls about and discuss their previous nights drinking session.

Game kicks off belatedly with a Trevs player refereeing, and Hild Bede immediately stamped an authority on the game that could never have been dreamed of barely a year ago. The first goal wasn't long in coming, and it came from the boot of Chris Hartly who finished confidently from close range. Hild Bede, using the Wimbledon route A tactic were totally dominating and Molenaar and Tom were keeping things tight at the back. The second goal came after about 20 minutes when Goblin scored another close ranger, after a long ball completely eluded the Trevs defensive line. Trevs attempted to claim offside, but not even this ref could have got away with making a decision like that.

With Trevs still failing to make any real impression, the third goal soon followed. A weak shot by Di Canio trickled in at the near post as the Trevs keeper decided he just cant be bothered to save it. Within minutes of this going in, Hild were 4-0 up after a cynical tackle resulted in a free kick just outside the box. What followed was an early contender for goal of the season as Goblin crashed a free-kick in off the underside of the bar.

Half time was approaching but there was still time for Hild Bede to have a blatant goal denied by the "totally unbiased" referee who claimed the striker was offside. Half time score : 4-0.

Half time saw the introduction of Average and Alex Toms for Tom Taylor and Ed, as Di Canio sensed it was time to experiment give other players a chance, with the victory seemingly secure. It wasn't long before the Enigma entered the fray too, with Di Canio actually sacrificing his own place in the team. Enigma settled in quite quickly and infact it was he who lay the ball off for Hartly to run on to, and eventually score. Moments later Enigma was involved in goalmouth action again as left the right back for dead and shot across goal. With Alex Toms getting the final touch, smashing it home from close range, the ref suddenly decided that Enigma was actually offside so the goal wouldn't count. Then the goalkeeper took it upon himself to bring down a Hild Bede striker, bearing down on goal. The refs decision... goal kick. Naturally.

It was then that Trevs C decided they would spoil Pissheads debut in goal. A through ball, to a Trevs striker (who was, incidentally, offside) was then crossed in and a header was scrambled in at the far post, (by another player who just happened to be offside too) It wasn't long before Hild got their sixth though as Hartly superbly rounded the keeper to complete a fine hat-trick. The seventh was added when Fortunato launched a strike from 30 yards which somehow lobbed the keeper who was standing on his own goal-line and Hartly deservedly rounded off the rout by claiming his fourth late on in the game.

Man Of The Match : Chris Hartly

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